Wikilatief -How to deal with parents who parental favouritism -There are times when children feel they have received different treatment from their parents when compared to their other siblings. Treatment such as not being cared for much and lack of attention when compared to siblings or siblings.
In some studies there are even those who say those children who are victims of favoritism tend to have a good impact. This can make the child feel more sensitive and subtle. So that it will be easy to understand other people's feelings.
If we look back, there may be several reasons why parents do this. But still reasons that are not aware of children sometimes hurt feelings and can have bad consequences.
For example, having thoughts such as "my mother doesn't love me", "dad loves her first child more", and "mom always stands up for my younger sibling."
Now, if you have parents who are loving, what should be done? Here are some smarts ways to deal with parental favouritism so that you don't become a rebellious child.
1. Self-Introspection
It is awful to face a parent who chooses to love them. On the other hand, you feel unhappy and uncomfortable, but some of us still depend on our parents for life. Therefore, the first step that needs to be done is self-introspection.
So before you get emotional and angry, there's nothing like mirroring and self-evaluation. Ask yourself if there was anything you did or said and it hurt them. It could be that parents choose love because we are naughty and always violate their rules.
It could also be that you are ignorant and do not want to accept advice or input. So that your parents are getting lazy and tired of dealing with you. They prefer to stay away rather than be hurt constantly by the attitude that you do.
2. Communicate to Parents
The next stage for dealing with parental favouritism after introspection is to talk about things that are up to the parents. It is not good to keep your problems to yourself because it will cause illness, both physically and spiritually. Instead of grumbling in vague ways, talk about how you feel to your parents directly.
The trick is to ask your parents why they are favoritism and love your brother or sister more. Tell me if you feel annoyed and hurt because of treating differently. Plus, it's a good idea to say that you want to be treated the same as them.
3. Convey Advice Politely
In fact, if a parent really makes a mistake, a child is allowed to tell the truth or give advice. But of course with proper and polite manners, so that, parents do not feel patronized.
If the flow of the conversation is relaxed and calm, then the parents will be absorbed in the conversation and not be offended.
But if you are simply not a very communicative person or don't dare to give positive advice, there are other, indirect ways. For example, by placing a book or writing sheet that explains good parental manners for children or similar topics.
It could be that when reading the book, the hearts of parents become flustered and become aware of their inappropriate behavior so far.
4. Confide with you
The next way to deal with parental favouritism without involving the parents directly is to reason with your own siblings. It could be that your parents are loving because your siblings need more attention about their problems that you don't know yourself. So they think you can be stronger and more independent without them.
Tell your siblings why your parents chose you for their love. It is possible that then a puzzle will be solved. In addition, sharing can strengthen fraternal relations and can support one another to make it stronger.
5. Resistant to Emotions
It's not easy to hold back anger towards other people if we don't do anything wrong. Especially to parents who have contributed a lot in our lives. Some may even protest why we who are victims have to hold back our emotions.
But holding back your emotions is sometimes the right and best choice. This is to avoid events that can cause regret later.
You don't want to be if there is a big fight that causes losses, such as a family split or one of the parties becomes sick?
Therefore, hold back your emotions and understand why they choose to love you.
6. Keep Distance When Needed
If you are a person who has difficulty holding back your emotions, then keeping your distance from your parents for a while can be an effective solution. The positive side of this process is that you will become more independent.
In addition, you can also be more focused and productive on what is being done now. That way, this path can also be a momentum to show the achievements that you have made when you are away from your parents.
Show that you deserve their attention too. But even though the distance is far away, the service cannot be broken. Establish good communication and always ask about their situation regularly.
7. Remain Patient and Respect Your Parents
The next way that may be cliché but also difficult when dealing with parents who favoritism is to remain patient. Get rid of hurt, jealousy, jealousy, and jealousy.
These negative feelings will only take up your time to be a positive and productive individual.
Stay patient and still respect your parents as someone who contributed to raising you. After all, they are the ones who nurture and make you the person you are today.
8. Make It As Motivation
It could be that your parents are partial to you because you don't have talents or strengths that stand out to them.
So that your parents will be more fond of siblings who are more active in showing yourself than you are passive.
For this reason, make it a self-motivation to be better than you are now. Reduce jealousy towards siblings.
Forge yourself and improve yourself so that you are also more "seen" by your parents. Show them that you are not as bad as your parents imagined you to be.
Conclusion:
Those are some smart ways to deal with parental favouritism and avoid becoming sons of disobedience. Holding on to hurt feelings can be bad, especially if they come out into words that hurt your parents.
Never mind your parents, hurting someone else's heart can result in a grudge that will be remembered for all time. So, let's take care of attitude and speech and always be patient.