Wikilatief - A good listener is someone who doesn't judge the interlocutor until the conversation is over. The benefits of this behavior include respecting, being appreciated, and not blaming the interlock talker.
This includes expanding relationships, developing empathy, and finding solutions to problems that are being talked about.
If you still feel like you're a bad listener, don't worry. To help you, here are 13 ways to be a good listener that you need to do.
1. Stop Underestimate The Interlocutor
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One of the reasons why a person can't be a good listener is because he often underestimates people who are interlocking.
Usually this happens when he's dealing with certain people. And unfortunately often the reason is rather discriminatory.
For example, when dealing with your boss, you can listen with a high concentration. But when you get home, when you talk to your own mother, you look lazy.
Similarly when you chat with maids and those whose jobs are often looked down upon.
Therefore, if you really want to be a figure who can listen to others, remove the mind that likes to underestimate.
Especially to those who contribute to your life. Show your respect by not ignoring them while you're talking.
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2. Be Honest about Listening Readiness
Not everyone fails to be a good listener because of their discriminatory nature. Sometimes, some people can't listen to other people because they're not ready.
Just imagine, you are an office employee who just returned to the boarding house at 10 pm because of overtime.
You feel so tired. But suddenly a boarding house friend visited your room and intended to talk.
In such conditions, it is likely that you will not be able to listen to his speech properly. Because physically and mentally, you're in need of rest.
Therefore, rather than being forced, be honest about your inability to be stolen at that time.
Even if the friend keeps talking, leave him alone. At least you've warned that you're not ready to be stolen.
3. Don't Be Busy with Your Smartphone
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One of the easy ways to apply if you want to be "a good listener" is to stop playing mobile phones.
As we discussed earlier, we may have tried to be listeners yes good, but technological advances often interfere with our concentration.
For example, when we're having an important meeting with a client, suddenly our phone turns on and there's a notification that someone is commenting on our photo on Instagram.
That second also we begin to not focus with the conversation delivered by the client. Our brains start groping, approximately what comments do I get on my latest photos?
And a variety of other thoughts that are very disturbing. To be a good listener, try to reduce the social media distractions we have.
It can be by turning on silent mode on the phone or disabling social media notifications while we are talking to others.
Yes, try to get rid of your smartphone first when you're chatting with someone. This action is trivial, but it seems very difficult for many people to do.
Understand that you need to appreciate the person you're interacting with.
If you are busy playing mobile phones, of course they will ill feel and eventually middle with your behavior.
Especially when they are enthusiastic about inviting you to talk. Or, they want to say something very important.
4. Don't Cut The Conversation
Stop annoying habits such as cutting talk. This kind of attitude will make you look disrespectful to the interlocutor.
Every now and then doing this for a joke is a good problem. But if many times, of course the interlocutor can be irritated.
Remember, when someone is talking to you, it means that they feel that you deserve to be spoken to.
You are considered to be able to understand it or quite pleasant to talk to. Appreciates by showing an attitude that also appreciates.
Dedicate time to your belongings for a short time so that your interlocut can express their opinions or stories completely without interruption.
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5. Avoid Failing to Focus
Do you often lose concentration in the middle of a chat? This condition can also make a person fail to be a good listeners.
We've struggled to listen, but the edges have failed to focus. As a result we do not seem to be after the ongoing talks.
If you're having problems like this, try a quick permit for coffee or tea. In addition to making the situation more relaxed, coffee or tea can also help you concentrate on the conversation.
What if you should focus on listening in formal situations?
Drinking coffee or tea obviously can't be done all over the place. Therefore, in formal situations, you can replace them with sweets.
6. Don't Judge
Judgmental attitude is an attitude characterized by a person's tendency to judge others by his standards. People who like to judge are not good listeners.
Because they're busy giving judgment, not understanding. Not good, is it?
Therefore, if you intend to be a person who can appreciate other people's conversations, stop judging people.
For example, your friend complained that he was scolded by his mother for his poor grades. Instead of calling the fella stupid, try to show your empathy.
See your friends as figures you want to understand and encourage. So, don't even argue that your friend deserves to be scolded.
7. Give Good Feedback
There are people who talk to just be heard. However, there are also people who are confiding in asking for a solution. Both are legitimate and there's nothing wrong.
If the friend or relative who is talking to you just wants to be heard, follow the tips mentioned in point 6 above.
Whereas if your friend or brother needs a solution, then give your input or opinion as best as possible.
State your point of view and what you will do when dealing with the friend's problems. But avoid imposing opinions or requiring friends to follow our solutions.
Why? Because he could have found a better solution than himself.
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8. Don't Always Hook Up to Yourself
Have you ever come up with someone who always ties things to himself?
For example, you're complaining about your girlfriend to my girlfriend. Instead of responding, your compatriot tells me how his problem with his own girlfriend is worse.
This kind of attitude at first glance seems ordinary. But that's actually not a good thing.
Because when people are talking, let alone talking, he wants to be heard. But instead of being listened to, he should instead listen to other people's words.
When you have this attitude, you can't be a good listener. Therefore, stop slightly associating things with yourself.
You are not the center of this world. Let your acquaintances tell you the problem without you changing the topic to your problem.
9. Show Appropriate Body Gestures
In addition to trying to really listen, show also a good gesture body. Look into each other's eyes occasionally to show that you're paying attention.
Sit down or stand up to the other one. And finally, the occasional nod to your head marks you follow what he says.
Gestures like this are very important. Because, if you show body language that looks bored, your interlocut must also feel at all. It could even be that he would feel unappreciated by you.
For example, gesture on your hands while occasionally yawning. This kind of attitude will make the interlocutor not feel good.
Conversely, when you sit facing the other person with an occasional nod, you will be considered polite and considerate.
10. Give Good Eye Contact
One thing we need to know, listening actively is about listening to others with our whole body and senses.
We cannot listen to others with good concentration, if we are facing something else. Make good eye contact with the individual during the conversation.
This will help us better understand the words spoken, facial expressions, as well as the movements made by the person.
11. Leaning
This is one of the good tips when your fellow readers are feeling tired or can't fully energize to listen to each other.
But to be a good listener, we must still give greatest effort in listening to them.
We tell fellow readers to lean on the body. Leaning the body will give us the energy necessary to become a better listener.
When we are chatting and are very interested in what someone is saying, try to lean around as if you are both sitting next to or opposite each other.
Or, if you're standing next to a speaker, try to stand close enough to that person to communicate and give the impression that you're interested in their conversation.
We know that this is a difficult thing, but it is something that can be tried and can be trained constantly.
Being a good listener is more than just understanding. We also need to feel what others feel when they tell us something.
By doing this, we can also develop a sense of empathy for our interlocu spoken.
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12. Don't Judge Others Too Quickly
In order for us to truly be good listeners, we must not be too quick in judging others.
Let's go back to the previous example, when your close friend told me that it had been two weeks that he hadn't heard anything after a job interview with the company he was working for.
Hearing this, we immediately concluded that our friend is incompetent or does not give greatest effort at the time of the interview.
We strongly do not recommend fellow readers do this, as this will instead make us a bad listener and not understand others.
13. Write In a Small Note
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This is the last step we can take to be a good listener. This way also has other privileges that is, do not disturb a person when they talk.
That way, we can listen while making small notes, so as not to interfere with the conversation of our interlocu spoken.
Another positive value, we can continue to remember the important points conveyed in the conversation.
Conclusion :
No matter where we are, the ability to be a good listener is indispensable for the convenience and smooth running of the work.
Unfortunately, not everyone is able and willing to invest their time to strive to be a good listener. Sometimes, even though we've tried to be good listeners, there are many challenges that make it difficult for us to be active listeners to others.
Moreover, coupled with advances in technology, misinformation that spreads on social media often makes us a person who is easy to judge and does not want to listen to others.
Actually, the way to be a good listener is not difficult. It's just that we have to work on some things that might be considered trivial. For example, paying attention to gestures, not busy playing mobile phones, until learning not to judge.
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So, try the 13 ways above so that you become a figure who can listen to the interlocut in earnest. Good luck!