Wikilatief - Every parent must have been angry with a child, this form of anger is actually a sign of parental love for their child. Therefore, a wise child must be able to face it carefully and not get carried away with emotions.
Because, parents can be angry because there are reasons. In dealing with angry parents, children are often in a terrible position, need to defend themselves or just let go of listening to what is said.
Every parent must care about their child, be it through attitude, attention or words. It's just that the care of each parent is different on the way it is conveyed.
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Some seem good, but often they look like evil. For example, parents who are chatty or angry.
However, some children are unable to grasp the meaning behind the anger of their parents. Instead of changing, the child is annoyed and even angry at their parents again. Not infrequently from children who are increasingly acting up.
Now, if you happen to have temperamental parents, here are some ways to deal wisely with angry parents.
1. Stay Calm
It takes a cool mind when your parents are angry. For that, first avoid yourself from this complicated situation.
Yelling or fighting back at an angry person is like pouring gasoline into a fire. The solution was not reached, in fact the problem grew bigger.
You can convey whether you and your parents can talk again for some time. At least 30 minutes to cool the mind.
Or if that's not the case, just accept what they say first. Think back to what was said. You can wait until the next day to confront your parents again.
Related : 16 Easy and Effective Ways to Be a Calm Person in All Situations
2. Practice Self-Control
Cold thoughts don't just come. Self-control and cold-mindedness need to be practiced. You can do this when alone. Sit with your back straight, then take a slow breath.
The process of taking this breath is carried out for 5 to 6 seconds. Then hold your breath for about 2 seconds and exhale slowly.
Repeat this process ten times at a time. You can practice this process of self-control when asking for a “break time” like in point 1.
3. Listen First
When parents are angry, they can be sure if they are emotionally upsetting. Not to mention if the problem about you also overlaps with other problems they are facing.
That way, it would be better if dealing with angry parents was done by hearing their words first.
It could be that they just want to ask your help to understand them better. Save your comments, so that, your parents don't speak emotionally.
Read Too : 13 Effective Ways to Be a Good and Active Listener, Anyone Can Do It!
4. Good communication
Regardless of your age, your parents will still see you as a child. But that doesn't mean it makes you free to be childish.
Especially concerning communication. When your parents are angry, you must be able to communicate in a healthy manner, not getting carried away.
Imitating an angry parent, for example, by replying to rude words will only make them more upset. After it has subsided a little, then let it out by choosing words and a polite tone. Look them in the eye and don't look the other way.
Talking with eye contact will make you appear more honest and sincere. Present problems and solutions from your point of view in a good way.
5. Say if you hurt
Not only once or twice, the angry nature of parents can come out many times without their knowing.
For that reason, when things start to cool down, you can say that what your angry parent said or did hurt you. Especially when they screamed.
It could be that the treatment of parents who are always angry when reprimanding you is considered normal by them. There are even parents who are not aware that this attitude is sometimes not quite right.
So, you, as the affected party, can honestly say that parental anger has a negative impact on your psychology.
6. Going out for relaxation
Going for a random walk is also an effective way of dealing with an angry parent. Taking a break from their eyes can make your mind calmer. Taking walks in different environments also relaxes the body.
Fill your mind with positive thoughts during relaxation. Keep away from prejudices that are not necessarily true. Recall good memories with your parents, so that, your heart will be calmer.
7. Find Solutions Together
When the mind is calm, relaxed, and able to speak with your heart, then use this moment to find solutions together. What exactly do your parents demand for you? Why do you stick to your irreversible principles?
You can discuss these two important things with your parents. Compromise well with them.
Take the positive and negative impact of the decisions that will be taken, for you and your parents. By carrying out these discussions, who knows you will find a better solution from common thinking.
8. Change If It Is Good
An angry parent may be making suggestions for improvement to you. However, this is like giving a gemstone by throwing it against the head. Remember not the gemstone, the pain in the head that always rings.
Likewise, when your parents are advising you in an angry way. Not a suggestion, but a heartache that is always remembered. For that, lower your ego and think back to what the parents have said.
Are their words really useful for your change for the better? Or is it useful for your future? If so, then, there's nothing wrong with changing for the better.
9. Know the Types of Violence
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To deal with parents who are so angry that they often swear by themselves, you need to learn about verbal abuse. This verbal abuse may occur in all types of families with various economic status.
Some of the identifications of verbal violence includes using threats, cursing with verbal abuse to humiliate them in public.
Also know whether you are afraid of your parents? Some of the effects of verbal abuse can cause children to have problems, shutting down from social interactions, not demanding, and always giving in to depression.
If you feel this every angry parent, then there is something unhealthy about the relationship in your family.
10. Ask for Help
If you do experience violence, especially verbally when your parent is angry, then it's a good idea to ask for help.
It would be better if you contact the person who is authorized to solve the problem.
If you feel the reach is too far, you can ask someone close for help. For example, an elderly relative who can be trusted to mediate the problem. Or if you are still in school, you can ask the teacher for help.
11. Communicate openly
Many of us are not psychics who can read the minds of others. Tell what is on your mind to others. This applies to everyone, not just when communicating with parents.
Use simple language that is easy to understand. If necessary, add analogies to make the understanding easier to digest. When parents still feel right, keep communication going with a cool head, not emotion.
12. Understand why they feel right
However, parents have lived before their children. They have tasted the sweetness of life long before they had children. This means that must be a reason why parents always feel right.
Before starting to argue about differences of opinion, understand why parents feel they are always right. Understand what motivations make them stick to a principle.
Then, convey that you understood it at the beginning of the conversation. For example, through sentences such as, "I am sure you really know how important this problem is ..." are followed by logical arguments.
13. Use the right intonation
Using your intonation or high tone of voice when dealing with parents who always feel right will only make the atmosphere messy.
Never mind digesting what was conveyed, the emotions of each party are easily ignited so that they will not reach common ground.
Instead of yelling or using a high note, be courteous to each sentence. Still respect their position as parents who must be respected. By expressing opinions politely, it can open parents' hearts to change their principles.
Conclusion:
There's a reason parents sometimes feel right. At their age, there is a lot of uncertainties to the point of frustration that may take off and make him appear "stubborn.” Not to mention the prestige of admitting that age no longer allows them to be independent.
Read Too : 15 Greatest Ways to Be Yourself As You Are To Be Happier
Understand all that, don't make this a lighter to fight all the time. If children can show their love and care, it is possible that one day parents will be more open minded.
These are some wise ways to deal with angry and temperamental parents. Of course as a child you don't want to be someone who is disobedient to your parents, do you? Therefore, always face your parents with cold heads and open hearts.
Remember, they were children, but you were never the parents. In addition, facing different times also affects the output of different attitudes.