Wikilatief - One of the nightmares that an employee in his office has to face is to have a coworker who wants to win by himself (selfishly). Friends like this are very toxic, but it's not impossible to impede our careers.
Imagine how dizzy it is when every day we have to face the colleague. Do not be invited to be friends, just talk sometimes becomes a debate about who is better.
So, instead of getting dizzy, let's follow 12 ways to face a coworker who wants to win by himself below.
1. Prepare Your Mental
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Dealing with a coworker who wants to keep winning is not easy. A lot of people feel bullied by partners like this.
Therefore, the first thing that is important for you to try is to prepare yourself mentally.
Make sure your head stays cool. Because when you get emotional, you get into the trap of co-workers.
Because when you are emotional, you will begin to be illogical. Your coworkers can exploit that condition to make themselves look better in front of their bosses.
2. Be Professional, Don't Imitate Your Friend's Attitude
You can't face a coworker who wants to win by doing the same. When you do, the office conditions will get hotter. Other coworkers must also be confused about your change in attitude.
Instead of mimicking that wrong behavior, you could create a collaborative climate in the office. Because collaboration is the opposite of competition.
By promoting collaboration, we can counter the behavior of wanting to win by ourselves.
It's not easy to do this. But we can start with a coworker who isn't toxic just yet. Create relationships that help each other instead of dropping each other.
The more colleagues who are like you, the more cornered the colleague will be.
3. Make Friendships to Other WorkMates
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Having reliable friends in the office is very important. Especially if your office is always tense because there is someone who is selfish and narcissistic.
Remember, as explained in point 1, facing a coworker who wants to win by himself is very tiring. Therefore, establish a genuine friendship with one or two of your trustworthy office colleagues.
Their existence will make you calmer when facing colleagues who do not want to lose. You can talk to them until you find support when you're cornered.
4. Overcome Debate Elegantly
One of the characteristics of someone who wants to win by himself is his love of debate.
This kind of person will defend his opinion even if it is completely unreasonable. In fact, spending time in a debate like this is clearly unhealthy.
Therefore, learn to stop the debate elegantly. You can even make jokes when the friend has started wanting to argue.
For example, your friend is insisting on saying your work is sub standard. Whereas the authorities judge your job is superior.
Instead of getting angry, just tell him that you don't know that your partner is already the new boss. Say this in a joking tone so that he will feel ashamed of himself.
If you are the shy and quiet type of person, at first, you will feel awkward. But over time, your persistence will pay off.
5. Prepare Your Arguments
To face a coworker who wants to win on his own, we must learn to argue well. This is especially important if you have to argue with the colleague. For example, ahead of regular monthly meetings.
Concocting a good argument on your own is not difficult. A good argument is a logical argument and has sufficient data and fact support.
Let's say you have an opinion on next month's marketing strategy. So complete the opinion with valid data, easy-to-understand reasons and supportive expert opinions.
Avoid just having an opinion without the support of data and expert opinion. You'll only be an easy target if you're desperate to do so.
6. Focus on Your Work, Do Your Best
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Hanging out with those who want to win on their own will suck up our energy. And the bad news is, things like this can affect our work performance.
As a result, our image in front of our superiors and other colleagues can be negative. We will also be the "losers" that selfish co-workers really expect.
Don't want that to happen, do you? That's why you have to learn to control your emotions and focus on work.
Keep in mind the family you charge at home. When you are single, learn to love yourself by ignoring toxic people. So, you can just focus on the benefit of things.
The logic of the person who wants to win himself is extreme black and white logic. For them, all there is winning vs. losing. There is no term of cooperation in the heads of such people.
Therefore, when they are arguing with the tendency to win on their own, show a point of view that emphasizes cooperation, not competition.
For example, in a meeting, your friend is busy blaming your other colleagues who are considered incompetent.
You can give the opinion that a project will only run successfully if the team can work well together.
Therefore, if one is considered incompetent, the other colleague teaches or asks the other colleague for solutions.
Say that blaming another friend after the project is completed is not a solution, but rather a childish act.
7. Inform Indirectly to The Supervisor
There are times when we have to engage superiors when facing workmates who want to win on their own. This action needs to be taken if the friend's attitude is completely out of bounds.
Or, if a friend's behavior has been materially detrimental and demeaning to self-respect.
For example, a friend often downplays your role in a project that causes you to be reprimanded by the boss. Not only that, your friends do it when you're not in the office.
Cases like this can't be allowed at all. But remember, our heads must remain cool. Don't suddenly enter the boss's room while grieving dramatically. Don't whine like a child to his mother.
You must be dodgy. You must notify the matter in a subtle way. For example, in the next project, actively argue by linking to past projects. Emphasize what you used to do elegantly.
Next, work more actively on the new project. Also make sure your boss knows your contribution portion. That way, your boss won't take it for granted by incitement of your toxic friends.
8. Make him feel victorious
To face a stubborn colleague, don't feel that the interaction between you and him is a must-win competition.
Better, make stubborn coworkers feel victorious. This means we have to relent.
They are not open to new ideas and changes that might be good for a career. Thus, this hinders the development of themselves.
As a coworker, you can try to convey the shortcomings of this stubborn nature carefully.
Make them aware that freedom, new opportunities, and interesting things can be found by just a little trying to listen to others.
Of course, this should be done only when you have managed to relax him by letting him win the conversation.
9. Be flexible
As mentioned earlier, stubborn co-workers include inflexible people.
Therefore, our role is to be friends who are flexible to keep up. Indeed, always agreeing with what they say is not mandatory.
The meaning of being flexible is to be a person who is able to take the time to listen to what they have to say, what the background of those thoughts is and understand them instead of imposing personal wills.
If he is saying something right or conveying a good idea, then accept it and do not argue.
10. Avoid debates
If a stubborn coworker won't listen to your opinion, of course, it's hard not to feel like arguing with him.
However, this will make things worse.
It is difficult to win against stubborn colleagues, therefore avoid arguments with him as much as possible.
Try to strategy in conversation with him so as not to trigger defensive tendencies rooted in his stubborn disposition.
Avoid saying, "No, you're wrong," when addressing the opinions of your co-workers.
Always treat them as kindly and respectfully as any other professional colleague.
Look for a way to show that he did something wrong, then make him sure that the opinion you are conveying is true without sounding judgmental.
This can soften his nature a little while talking to you.
11. Build trust
Stubborn nature is one manifestation of fear, therefore one way to deal with stubborn colleagues is to gain his trust.
If you can show that there is no intent to judge them in the sphere of work, stubborn colleagues will be able to communicate more comfortably with you.
According to experts, individuals who have this disposition tend to hold on to what they believe or know correctly due to frequent perceived fears
12. Support Your Workmates When It Starts to Change
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No one knows the future. Someone could have changed his attitude because of one thing or another. This incident can also happen to your friends who want to win by themselves.
In a moment like this, it's important for you and your colleagues to support that change in attitude. The trick is not to constantly insinuate his past deeds.
As much as possible, we also do not need to praise him excessively because it causes an awkward nuance.
Just strengthen the relationship with a friend who wants to win by himself. Invite him to hang out together or just have lunch. In this way, we've sent a signal that we welcome the friend's change positively.
Conclusion :
Patience is the main key in dealing with colleagues with this errancy. Record and understand the tips I have given and try to do it at the office for your friends who need extra chest space.
Facing a coworker who wants to win by himself in the end is not an easy thing. We have to make sure the head stays cool in even hot situations.
Because the attitude of the friend tends to make people around him feel humbled and even harassed.
However, in the right way as described above, we can certainly solve this problem. So do not immediately think about to resign first.
Because even if you resign, your new office is not necessarily free from people who want to win themselves.